Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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