Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
