I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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