I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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