there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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