End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize