took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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