you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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