break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
