I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
