It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
is wine microwaveable?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
