1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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