Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
