I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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