if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
