I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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