I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone