Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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