Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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