Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions

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(515): View more from Iowa

What did I eat last night that was bloody?

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(818): View more from California

You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(810): View more from Michigan

Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.

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(410): View more from Maryland

So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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(514): View more from Quebec

If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"

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