Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.

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(253): View more from Washington

um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street

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(917): View more from New York City

we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(248): View more from Michigan

Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable

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(512): View more from Texas

Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.

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(301): View more from Maryland

ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.

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(214): View more from Texas

The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people

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(415): View more from California

One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter

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