Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter