There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
