And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
