so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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