I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He kissed a someone with a penis
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
