I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
40s are totally the cure
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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