Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
