is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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