Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just got carded by a ten year old.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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