but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize