Do you still have your period?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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