Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My vagina just recognized that song.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
