Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize