I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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