Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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