Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
