I didn't shave. On purpose
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
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True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
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apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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