I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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