I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
