Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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