You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
