Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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