Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
operation harelip BJ is a go
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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