so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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