There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
