I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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