dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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