I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
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Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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