but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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