Cold hands, warm shart.
plz talk dirty to me
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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