So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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