i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize