HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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