I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
