Your tits are I can't wait for
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
