he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
