Is it because I queefed?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I touched a dick in church today
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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