Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
